how i do

If this isn't jacked up, I don't know what is:

Woman files lawsuit against AMR because passenger next to her masturbated while she slept.

I mean, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, people!

So I haven't had any fast food - and I mean, no bagels and no muffins, too! - for 11 days. I have gone for stretches with no fast food before.

The first time I did it, I thought it was really hard.

This time, it's actually pretty easy. I don't really miss the junk and the crap.

I feel pretty good, and can feel the difference in my body and in my pocketbook.

Hello 2008. Happy New Year!

I've said this before, but I don't make New Year's resolutions.

But I am resolved to live differently from this point on. I had a wonderful holiday, and an awesome birthday. Words can't express. Me and my baby stayed up (this is rare, believe me lol) on New Year's Eve and kissed our way into the new year.

While I've been sitting here writing this post, 20 different thoughts have gone through my head about what I want to say.

And really that was it: I am resolved to live differently from this point on. I don't have ideas for how I want to live in 2008. I have ideas about how I want to live. Period.

It's a good feeling when you finally feel like you're ready to take some new steps. You feel like asking yourself, "What took you so long?"

At my staff retreat before Thanksgiving, we did some guided meditation exercises for the closing. Afterwards, we wrote down our thoughts.

This is what came up for me; I thought I would record it for posterity.

I will treat my body better.
I will treat it like it's my temple.
I will give it what it needs in order to carry me through my life and to my goals.
I will try more.
I will be kinder to myself.
I will have more compassion for others.
I will not hold so much inside.
I will not carry my pain around in my body.
I will let go.

What's your musical horoscope?  (Put your player on shuffle and write down the first 10 songs that come up.) 

1. Slap The Bass (Miguel Migs Petalpusher Mix) - Ella Fitzgerald
2. Don't Ever Touch Me Again - Dionne Farris
3. Run, Baby, Run - Sheryl Crow
4. Strike 2 - DJ Shadow
5. Full of Grace - Sarah McLachlan
6. Liquid Diamonds - Tori Amos
7. Shoulda Let You Go - Keyshia Cole & Amina
8. Skin-Deep - Beady Belle
9. Natale's Song - Sia
10. I Tried - Brandy

Not a bad mix, if I do say so myself. Not that I had anything to do with it, but...

I'm realizing that I'm kind of in this really icky, irritable, cat-scratch-your-eyes out kind of mood lately. Seriously, I could count on two hands - and two hands only - the things that DON'T irritate or piss me off these days.

I have no patience. I am easily annoyed (usually by the same folks or issues). I'm listening to a lot of rock. Incidentally, I'm writing a lot lately.

Seriously, I am angry and bored and restless.

It'll pass, but for now, I'm a bitch. LOL

It's been a long time, I shouldna left you...

"Hunger and Spit" is the name of a four-page poem that I recently finished. I still continue to make little edits, but it's essentially a poem that I was trying to write for months.

It was a relief to write it, to finish it. And also, it became my new favorite poem. LOL The way I judge my poetry is by constantly revisiting it. I have poems that I wrote in 1994, when I first started writing poetry. A lot of them are cringe-worthy. Seriously, it's "Oh, God, I didn't write that, did I?"

Standard teen angst fare.

But if I can revisit something over and over and over and still not cringe, I'm cool. I deem that a good poem. Some stuff can't live outside of the time it was originally written. And other pieces are timeless. I constantly revisit to figure out what's timeless and what's not.

I keep everything. The poem fragments, the cringe-worthy pieces, the pieces that make me say out loud when I read them, "Damn I'm good!"

A friend from high school and I got to talking about how we both write poetry, although neither one of us knew this about the other when we were in high school. She shared some of her work with me. I dug through my poems, trying to figure out what I wanted to share with her. I'm like Erykah Badu: "Keep in mind that I'ma artist, and I'm sensitive about my shit." Heh.

I showed her "Project Feel Good" and "Poetry Has Left Me Hanging." I purposely stayed away from pieces like "(with)drawing restraint" or "Senses." I felt that they said too much. At least right now.

And that's poetry. In Talking Back: Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black, bell hooks talks about "coming to voice" and poetry.

For me, poetry was the place for the secret voice, for all that could not be directly stated or named, for all that would not be denied expression. Poetry was privileged speech -- simple at times, but never ordinary. The magic of poetry was transformation; it was words changing shape, meaning and form. Poetry was not mere recording of the way we southern black folks talked to one another, even though our language was poetic. It was transcendent speech. IT was meant to transform consciousness, to carry the mind and heart to a new dimension.

I read that book for a class in graduate school, and when I got to that part, I highlighted, I underlined, I put a page flag (still there). bell said everything I'd always felt about poetry. I'm always torn, because I want to publish and share selected pieces. I used to do it more than I do now. And actually, some of my best pieces are ones where I really bring the pain, and am really open. But at the same time, I know that I've documented every major phase of my life since I was 14 in either my journal or through my poetry. And I'm still working on my comfort level, on trying to decide which things I want to share.

Poetry is different from other types of writing. The process of writing it can really open you up.

It's one of my favorite things ever. LOL And I'm writing a lot lately.

...'cause Lord knows sometimes I really need it! LOL

Show us which album tops your best of 2007 list so far.

You're the DJ: what are the next five songs coming up after the break?

1. Bad Reputation - Thin Lizzy
2. Teenage Hustling - Tori Amos
3. Fais Semblant - Teri Moise
4. Flaming Red - Patty Griffin
5. I'm on Fire - Bat for Lashes